The Galion, The level 98 Wizardess, and The
by Cyanide Waffle
Summary: The Galion, The level 98 Wizardess, and The Password Protected Storage is a parody of C S Lewis' "The Chronicles of Narnia." Oneshot. Enjoy!


**The Galion, The level 98 Wizardess, and The Password Protected Storage**

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**Author's Notes:** Obviously, this is a parody, so don't have a cow about plagarism. Hope you enjoy it! If you do, please do review it, and I'll give you a free hug :)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Ragnarok Online, and what not. "Agarwaen" is a wizardess friend of mine, but credit for that name goes to J R R Tolkien, who used it in "Children of Hurin". The characters used in this fic have been "inspired" (and I use the term heavily) by C S Lewis' "Chronicles of Narnia".

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The world of Ragnarok Online is a wonderful place. That is to say, it is full of wonder. Our protagonists, on another suspiciously continuous fine morning in the field south of Prontera city wonder how they are to get out of it. Ragnarok Online is possibly one of the most infamous massively multiplayer online games out there- it has known to be more addictive than crack cocaine. However, the problem in the case of the three and a half Peewins children is of a different nature.

They aren't stuck in the game in the conventional 'just-five-more-minutes-mum-I-almost-got-the-orc-lord' sense, but in a more sinister, worldly sense. They were somehow physically transported to the world of Ragnarok. Well, three of them, anyway.

The oldest of the Peewins had put up a tough resistance when they were being sucked into this world, and he didn't exactly manage to fight the force off completely. This left him in a rather translucent body, and his mind often wandered between the real world and the world of Ragnarok. It was nearly impossible to communicate with him, since his consciousness was constantly shifting between attending a Biology lecture and sitting around with his worried siblings in rafild01. The best his three siblings could do was to yell things slowly at him, and hope that he picked some things up when his mind happened to pass by.

In accordance with the law of conservation of momentum and a few quantum guidelines, all four of them were dressed in their respective job class uniforms, and found it nearly impossible to refer to each other with anything other than their in-game names.

"Oh, great. We're stuck here now!!" Whined Suzz123, frustration apparent on her face. She picked at her Asassin Cross uniform wretchedly; she wasn't able to come to terms with all the sudden extra cleavage that she seemed to possess.

"You're using more than one ! mark. Thats a sure sign of insanity..." muttered EddiePoons to his older sister. He hated it when she whined; it was very un-cannon. He should be the only angsty teenager in the story, in his humble opinion.

"Insanity!?11", screeched Suzz123,"I'll tell you what insanity is!! lucychibi asking a darn plant which way Rachel is, and the damn plant answering!"

"It was a muscipular." lucychibi pointed out grumpily, with the air of one informing the room that the big bang was not, in fact, an explosion, but the rapid expansion of space-time. She liked exercising her wit.

"The Krebs cycle, sir" Said P3te politely.

They spent a pixilated moment glowering at each other, and at P3te, who was now reciting the various indivisual chemical processes that take place within the mitochondrion. EddiePoons started pacing back and forth, because that is the sort of thing that people do when they want to appear thoughtful and hog all the attention.

"What if there are more people here? I mean- other players? People other than us?"

They spent another moment in silence, while they digested this and pondered its implications. lucychibi's face contorted with concentration, and Suzz123 even forgot to look angry at the world for a moment. EddiePoons was rather smug about the fact that he managed this reaction out of his siblings, and so continued with excessive bravado.

"In that case, we should probably look for the nearest town. Judging from the position of the Sun in the sky- or is that a graphics error?- Anyway, judging from that, and the fact that we're surrounded by plants-"

"Muscipular," corrected lucychibi pompously.

"-Muscipular, yes, we're probably in raelfild01. So...Rachel is probably the closest city. Its a good thing we patched, getting errors there right now would be hell. Er, what are you guys staring at?"

"Its because" Suzz123 choked out finally, her voice thick with terror,"There is a particular evil looking witch right behind you. She has a pointy staff. Its pointed at us"

"No, sir, I swear, I didn't throw that paper ball!" Wailed P3te.

"Silence" Hissed the wizardess. Her voice brought to mind horrible slimy cold things at the bottom of your refrigerator, that probably grew and mutated into ghastly human-eating things. Her hair was pale blond, slick, and pulled back in a way that made you think that her head was designed for aerodynamic efficiency. She wore no hat, but the big magical staff and the icy, evil glint in her eye sort of chased away any doubts as to what her profession or her intent may be. Vegetable vendors simply did not dress like this, nor did milk maids.

Silence ensued. The wizardess didn't seem to know what to make of this- when she usually said "Silence", she expected someone to ask "Yahh? y? wat lvl r u?" or leer at her and say "You're a disgrace to the server. -SCREENSHOT- I'm going to report you."

"Er- bow down to my awesome powers?" She ventured tentatively.

"We're fine, thanks?" EddiePoons replied back tentatively. The atmosphere was rather tentative.

"Oh..." the wizardess said. "Thats...thats good, then."

They spent another moment in silence, in which the tentativeness of the atmosphere reduced by around a millimeter, now that everyone knew that they were not about to kill each other.

"I'm Agarwaen." Said the wizardess. "Mistress of Ice, BMgc."

"Hi" The Peewins children replied.

Suzz123 shuffled her feet a bit, and then asked politely,"Which way is Rachel? We're kind of lost. We aren't from this dimension, you see, and I think there has been a terrible misunderstanding and we need to get- OH SHIT THERE'S A GALION BEHIND YOU!"

The company swerved around just in time to hear the Galion roar a roar that made your bones shake in their sockets- a roar that roared the fact that the Galion was large, agile, strong, and has razor sharp teeth. The Roweena chittered around it, as if it needed a further ego boost. The Galion's coat was sleek and shiny, like it had been buffed and polished by a team that usually treated Ferraris.

"Rawerrr-aargghh-rrhhaaa," growled the Galion majestically.

"Oh shat, run guys!" Screamed P3te, to everybody's surprise. Everyone stared at him for a moment (Galion included), until he added,"If Barretto sees that, we'll be in detention for a week!" The lot of them decided that his unintended advice was rather appropriate for the situation, and so they began the chase.

"Run in different directions, guys! It'll confuse it!" Screamed Agarwaen. They did as she suggested, and they happened to chose the same direction. lucychibi tripped over a Muscipular, and Suzz123 tripped over lucychibi, and the rest of them were too occupied by their inertia to stop. A minute later, all five Peewins children and Agarwaen lay in a heap over the trodden and half-dead Muscipular, P3te still moaning apologies to the janitor and begged for mercy, while completely ignoring the advancing Galion.

"Rawerrr-aargghh-rrhhaaa," said the Galion again. The Roweena caught up, and resumed their chittering. The humans were cornered now, and there was little doubt that the wild cats were about to make a meal of them. lucychibi started crying, her voice rising shrilly. So shrilly, in fact, that the Galion began bleeding through its ears, and the Roweena remained stunned in their places.

"Uh...I never thought I'd say this, Lu, but don't shut up." Yelled EddiePoons over the noise. "How is she doing that, anyway?"

"Which server have you been living on, man?" Agarwaen bellowed in response,"She's a dancer! She's stunning them!"

"You mean we aren't helpless little children here?" Suzz123 asked stupidly, a variety of kartars and knives clinking in her Assassin of the Cross outfit.

"No..." Yelled Agarwaen. "Lets finish this already! Suzz123, give me a hand!"

The wizardess clambered to her feet, her eyes flashing ominously as she murmured a spell which brought upon a Storm Gust that froze the felines. Together, Suzz123 and Agarwaen finished the Galion off in a rush of kartars and a cackle of electricity. They felt rather chauvinistic at this point.

"So..." EddiePoons mumbled. "We were kind of trying to get out of here..."

"Oh, you mean to want to leave this realm and re-enter the realm of mortals from wherein which you came, where the universe is governed by laws and in which countries are democratic and people have no decorum?" Inquired Agarwaen.

"Thats the one, yeah."

"Well, all you need to do is use a teleport scroll."

"...thats all?" EddiePoons scratched his pixilated head. "I mean, no flashy incantations, no wardrobes, no nothing? Thats easy. I have one of those things in my storage."

Suzz123 and lucychibi heaved a sigh of relief. Agarwaen nodded politely and went to try and stop P3te from repeatedly walking into a large rock which he seemed to think was a revolving door that was just very stuck.

"Er..." Muttered EddiePoons after a moment of concentration. "I forgot the password."

"You WHAT?" Screeched Suzz123, who felt more like her angsty old self now that the threat of an early death seems to be less, and the concept of eternal dying and respawning imminent in their recent future. "How can you forget the password to your own damn storage? Are you sure you got the command right?"

"Its storage" lucychibi pointed out helpfully.

"Hey, how did you do that?" EddiePoons asked, baffled.

"Do what?" lucychibi asked.

"How did you pronounce ?" demanded her older brother.

"You just did it too..." She pointed out.

"Well, gosh."

"Argh, guys, shut up!!111" Yelled Suzz123 in frustration. "We have to guess his password! What sort of password would you set, if you were EddiePoons?"

They waited in silence for a moment, deep in thought. Enlightenment hit them at the same instant, and they chorused:

"eddieissexy"


End file.
